Embodied Living 5: Welcome to Fantasy World
And how to break free from the disempowering beliefs that keep you there
We think that there is just one reality, but there isn’t.
Oh, I’m not talking metaphysics here, what I mean is none of us see the world as it truly is.
We do not all reside in the same reality. The world we live in is a result of our unique biological wiring and personal lived experiences. Who can truly say we experience the same event or even colour in the same way?
However, some versions of reality resemble more closely what could be considered Fantasy World than anything to do with real life.
Take for instance this snippet of wisdom I recently received:
“It is the work of the devil, someone is doing this to you” (meaning some juju is at work).
Their solution was that they would pray continually for me and that I should have faith that the Holy Spirit would resolve the situation.
In other words, wait for God to fix the problem.
I was shocked but I wasn’t.
This is real life, my life, why would I fold my arms and wait for a deity that may or may not exist to come and save me?
I am sure I’m not the first person to be offered this or a similar pearl of wisdom. It’s not that I don’t believe in juju/voodoo/black magic (although my verdict is still out), but with the variety of challenges of life faced within humanity, how can the same morsel of insight and advice be continually recycled?
It’s the devil.
It’s a curse.
It’s (fill in your own version).
A Disempowering Reality
When faced with such views, there are really two options:
To believe that something outside of your awareness and beyond your control is maliciously blocking your path and wait and pray for God to fix it.
To conclude the above is someone else’s version of reality and not reality itself and move forward accordingly.
A few years back, I would have accepted the first conclusion, now I do not. Not only does it instil fear but also enables a sense of disempowerment and helplessness. For me, this is a glorified external locus of control disguising itself as faith and hope.
Stormie Omartian’s book “The Power of a Praying Wife” is a good example. Extremely popular some years back and maybe even still today, this book found its way onto my lap through the Christian women’s circuit. I was desperate enough to pick it up and hope it could help me navigate the “relationship” I found myself in.
I didn’t get very far.
It felt wrong, false, forced.
I didn’t buy into her premise of praying away and over every single issue. It didn’t seem to matter how toxic or soul-destroying, the answer to every problem inevitably was to go, pray and wait on God to work a miracle.
In addition, I rejected the idea of constant battling that it espoused. I could pray, but heaven knew I was not a prayer warrior (and yeah I carried some shame and guilt about that). Nevertheless, I recoiled at continually seeking out my prayer closet just as I shudder today at the acronym P.U.S.H. “Pray Until Something Happens”. I realised it was because I didn’t want to spend my time and my life fighting a battle based on the belief that I was the constant target of external or supernatural forces.
And I was repulsed by the idea of being submissive. While I had never considered myself a feminist, I did see myself as a humanist and egalitarian. I instinctively felt that taking this position would adversely impact my ability to grow towards my potential and live a free and fulfilling life.
So no, I didn’t get very far reading that book however, many women did/do and found themselves caught in the trap of destructive and dysfunctional beliefs which enabled and fuelled abusive and toxic relationships.
This passivity and disempowerment is a by-product of the magical or superstitious thinking that runs through Evangelical Christianity (EvanChris).
I’ve seen this play out in people who were close to me, people who could not start their day without needing to pray and then read the Bible in a set and defined ritualistic way (sometimes taking hours, multiple times a day) for them to feel safe, confident, good/clean/worthy enough.
In people who believed that God would protect them no matter the situation they placed themselves in (I’m thinking of the missionary who refused to heed warnings and was killed by natives). Or those who believe that God can and will deposit large sums of money in their bank account without them lifting a finger, oh sorry, yes it’s because they lift their hands to pray!
It sounds ridiculous and fantastical but many, many people hold these and similar beliefs which shape their lives.
These kinds of beliefs are dangerous because they distort reality from fantasy - you end up believing in a version of reality which is as far from reality as you can get.
Choosing your Reality
Reality isn’t something that is set and unchangeable, we can choose our reality and in doing so create it. As bizarre as it may sound, every decision we make, and every idea or belief we choose to accept creates our reality so, why choose one which requires constant struggle, sacrifice, fear or disempowerment?
Plato’s Republic recounts the Allegory of the Cave illustrating how what we take to be real is not. It tells the story of prisoners trapped in a dark cave from childhood who have no notion of the outside world. They only see shadows cast by puppeteers who enact stories of the outside world on the cave’s wall due to the firelight that burns behind the prisoners’ backs. Not knowing anything else, the prisoners believe these images are reality.
This came to mind as I spoke to a colleague at work a few weeks back, one of the very few people I can now have a spiritual conversation with.
We spoke about awakening to better, higher/more true beliefs and how this shifts us from one reality into another.
Like a veil being lifted from the eyes, when we awaken we see ourselves, our beliefs, behaviours, choices and their results in a new way.
I am not the same person I was a year ago and as such I cannot hold the same beliefs and therefore make the same choices I did then.
I have woken yet I know that as much as I see and know now, there is still plenty that I do not.
It is a journey.
We cannot blame ourselves for not seeing what we did not know was there, but Life/the Universe does not leave us and does not want or intend for us to remain blind. It desires that we learn and grow. We are part of a great, weaving dance with the Universe as moment by moment it reveals to us the fruit of our beliefs. Yet I have noticed that even when faced with the evidence of our beliefs and choices, we can still stubbornly refuse to open our eyes, calling it faith or hope.
As Einstein reputedly said, doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different result is the very definition of insanity.
This is another type of disembodiment because embodiment, embodied living is the ability to see yourself and your inner workings through the feedback Life and the Universe reveal on the journey and course correct.
There must be a desire to let go, and this letting go requires us to not hold our beliefs so tightly in the first place, understanding that we are still learning the unfolding patterns of Life.
Letting go requires the ability to exist in liminality where you see with clarity the past (version of yourself) while only barely glimpsing the promise of the future. It requires us to believe in the possibility of better even while it is not fully expressed, you are already a new version of yourself and this is the version that can take you forward into a correspondingly different reality.
This is another form of dying to self and rebirth.
In The Allegory of the Cave, one prisoner manages to escape. He encounters the statues that made the shadows on the cave wall and finally understands that those shadows were not reality but distorted, blurred images created by the effect of the fire. Yet, it is only when he finally leaves the cave and steps out into the sunlight and can see the sky, birds, grass, and flowers that he fully realises the difference between what he believed to be real and reality itself. Reality has degrees, based on what we allow ourselves to see and experience.
One of the pitfalls of EvanChris is the preoccupation with the next life, the better life that comes next, you also get this preoccupation in other religious and spiritual systems. This is part of the disempowering narrative that keeps us stuck and accepting of our current reality level.
Even for those who are deconstructing or have deconstructed, there is still the danger of falling into an alternative fantastical reality which replaces one mythic, supernatural narrative with another. I have met a few.
We don’t have to settle for or choose a reality where we are always small, stuck or struggling. For me, it’s like finally realising that I have been living in a toxic/abusive relationship. Because I have lived this experience, I know this realisation is extremely empowering yet more awaits.
This is a first level of awakening, where you can finally see and understand. If followed on its natural course, you will be pulled by the force of your new awareness towards leaving that reality behind and experiencing freedom and liberation at a level you never knew existed.
A person who has gone through that experience can never willingly choose to go back again.
That feeling is the Universe’s feedback, saying “Look, you see that is not the way to go, this is the way”.
It is all a part of our learning, an intimate form of listening and communing with Life because Life desires our awakening and the upward emancipation that comes with it.
Being observant of Life’s revelation and direction and how this connects to our own held beliefs and worldview is what will ultimately help us leave Fantasy World behind and continue with our individual and collective growth and evolution.
The moral is that our current experience of reality is only one level of reality, it is not all there is. Nothing is fixed, reality is not fixed, and we are limited simply by what we believe and allow ourselves to experience.
Embodied Living Coaching provides a framework to help you learn how to release disempowering beliefs and realities holding you back, allowing you to embrace a more aligned and empowered version of yourself. I am offering an introductory call for those interested in learning more and determining if working with me is the right fit for their current situation. You can schedule your call with me using the button below.
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Warmest regards and highest wishes,
Florence x.
PS. Visit Embodied Living to read earlier parts of this book collection.