Life is Unfair because...
…But What If We’ve Been Playing the Wrong Game?
Hello and welcome to all my new subscribers! Thank you for following your curiosity to this corner of the world. My hope is that these words spark something in you—questions, reflections, inspiration and hope as we learn to navigate life together.
Let’s kick things off with a question.
Have you ever found yourself wondering whether life is fair—or if it's even supposed to be? I know I have, it’s a topic I have written and spoken about previously.
For years, I struggled with this question. But what if we’re looking at it all wrong? What if life isn’t about fairness?
Disconnection
The questioning of the goodness or not of God/the Universe marked a big chunk of the last couple of years which has led me to where I am now.
For me, the Universe is neither good or bad, or maybe I should say moral in the way we view morality. However, I believe that it does work through certain principles.
One principle is that the Universe treats all things the same—it doesn’t care about who you are or what you do, but it does care about and respond to who you are being both in terms of what you believe and the actions you consistently take.
When I was struggling and questioning the innate goodness of God and wondering whether Life was fair or not, I was doing so through my own lived experiences to date.
While I had experienced happiness and joy, especially after becoming a mother, it still felt like no matter what I had done or tried to do, I was swimming against the currents. Not only was this frustrating and depressing but it inevitably led me to the conclusion that either there was something wrong with me or something wrong with life (most likely both were true).
It was easy for me to become angry with God for allowing me to enter such a Life, one that I had never even asked for. I became disillusioned with humanity and the potential that things could ever be any different.
I felt afraid, too scared to dream and even more terrified to take action towards those in case they never materialised.
It all felt futile.
That was until something began to shift.
My questioning led to internal seismic shifts around previously held foundational beliefs.
I began to wonder if maybe Life wasn’t the problem. And as I wrote about in my previous post, maybe life and reality were not set in stone.
Maybe it wasn’t that Life was unfair, but that I was not in Life, involved in it, connected to it, playing with it.
Isn’t this what fundamentally sets children and adults apart? Children play, experiment, investigate, learn, try, adults do not.
Life as an Experiment
For those of us here, who are parents consider this, what is the best way to help your children discover who they are? Their likes, joys, passions, strengths, values, weaknesses?
Isn’t this all revealed through interacting with Life? Through play, trying, experimenting, failing and learning about themselves, about Life.
But as adults when do we allow ourselves to play, try, let alone fail?
In everything in life, there is a process of trying (taking action) and learning from that action. For example, as an educator, part of my role has been to mark written assignments. I will point out strengths as well as areas of weakness and then provide tips for improvement. The students who go on to perform best are the ones who adapt to the feedback given.
Or how about in business? Data is Queen. What this means is that you can use data and metrics as a feedback tool to help understand what is working and what isn’t. Success lies in being able to interpret and learn from the data.
From the big things to the small things, this is a principle of Life in that it continually offers data to us in various forms.
But our disembodiment leads to disconnection with Life because we:
do not see or notice the feedback
cannot interpret it
and therefore do not learn or modify our actions in light of it.
I had never thought of Life in this way before, as an experiment or even a game. Previously I had felt that life was against me and the only Source I had on my side was God. But what if Life had simply been waiting for me to join in, to reconnect once again like I did so naturally as a child?
What if the Kingdom of God as the scripture says, was inside of me? What if all the things I desired, the Life I truly desired to live could be “added on to me”?
What then?
Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. (Matthew 18:3)
Change is often thought as transforming from one thing to another, but in the above scripture, both the Hebrew and Greek understand it to mean to twist and turn around.
In other words, to change means to return.
Having had the privilege of watching my daughter grow, shepherding her as I support her in learning to be who she is I am very aware of the subtleties and complexities that conspire to make her into something else.
I firmly believe that not only is who she is enough, but that only by her knowing this and embracing this for herself will she find the courage and strength to create a Life that feels like she is actually living.
But the same applies to each of us.
Returning to Self
Through these discoveries, I slowly began to conceptualise and create a philosophy which has morphed into a process, the Embodied Living process. It is a way to reconnect with Life as a playful, experimental journey. It’s not about perfection or rigid rules, but about learning to listen, adapt, and move forward in alignment with who you are.
Up until now, I’ve laid down I guess a theoretical or maybe even philosophical/spiritual foundation of it but, Embodied Living focuses on the full 360 experience of being human.
Instead of worrying about whether an action is right or wrong, good or bad, it’s about the process of discovering and learning for ourselves.
Reconnection.
Reintegration.
Re-alignment.
Actually, this is something that we do all the time without even realising. I’ll share an example from my life to illustrate.
Years ago, when I was as yet undiagnosed with an autoimmune condition, I tried different things to bring healing and respite to my body. Many of my actions didn’t work but eventually, I found some which did. But even amongst the things that didn’t work like switching my diet to the autoimmune paleo protocol, with tweaking I made it work for me. I discovered that some foods within that protocol didn’t work for my body and by eliminating those foods I was better able to support my healing.
In Play with Life
Experimentation, listening to the feedback and continually moving forward is core to Embodied Living.
We are not only living in our body but connected to Life through it.
Every action has a consequence/effect.
It seems so simple that people lose how profound and life-changing this is but nearly if not all spiritual teachings rest on the same principle.
Isaac Newton had a variation of this saying:
Whenever one object exerts a force on another object, the second object exerts an equal and opposite on the first.
I’ve heard this quote before but never really understood it. I can’t say that I fully understand it now, but I have more insight.
Newton proposed three laws of motion which are applied widely within physics.
Law of Inertia: "An object will stay at rest, or keep moving in a straight line at the same speed, unless acted on by an external force."
Law of Force and Acceleration: "The force acting on an object is equal to its mass times its acceleration (F = ma)."
Law of Action and Reaction: "For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction."
As personal transformation requires movement (motion), going from point A to Point B, let’s apply these “laws” to someone who chooses to change their life for the better.
The first law states that you will continue exactly as you are unless something changes it - this can be an external or an internal force.
As Einstein is believed to have said, the definition of madness is doing the same thing over and expecting a different result!
Nothing changes unless something changes.
The second law reminds us that there will be variations or differences. For example, some things will be easier to achieve than others. If you use the same amount of force to move something heavier than you would to that which is lighter (easier) you will not see the same results. It also highlights the role of momentum in building up acceleration. A rolling ball, no matter how heavy builds momentum when force is continually applied.
Some people will have heavier beliefs or experiences to work through and so more effort will be required, some people will in the past or will in the future face difficulties and challenges which will also require more effort.
Action is always key to movement.
Momentum means that once we get started and continue on we will move forward.
The third law states that there is always a relationship involved in every action, a push and pull, an up or down, Yin and Yang. It is this relationship which enables things to happen. Every step you take toward your goal creates ripples. When you apply effort, the universe (or people, systems, and opportunities around you) pushes back in equal measure.
Sometimes the outcome is positive, sometimes the outcome isn’t but even when the outcome isn’t positive changes can be made, tweaks to what we are doing to create a different result.
Failure doesn’t matter, learning from it does.
Not every action will yield the result you want, but every result offers insight.
Law of attraction proponents say that we attract things to us based on our level of vibration. This is the principle of like-for-like. Things that vibrate at the same frequency as us are believed to be attracted to us. If we are attracting things we don’t like then we must look inwards.
I am personally not convinced about this. From a physics perspective, we co-exist in a Universe, in a world where things that do not vibrate at the same frequency live side by side.
I think it is less to do with us magically attracting things because we are vibrating at the same level of energy but because of our own learnings and discoveries we are transforming who we are being and allowing those things to come into our life.
Why am I sharing all of this today?
Well, as I’ve shared, I’ve been exploring and practising Embodied Living for a while now. This approach has been a transformative experiment for me, shifting how I feel about myself and Life, and helping me take meaningful action even when things feel daunting or impossible.
The truth is, Life itself is our greatest teacher. But while its lessons are always present, we don’t always feel ready to notice, receive, or apply them.
If you’ve been feeling that gentle nudge—that it’s time for something to shift—then I’d love to invite you into this experiment.
Embodied Living: An Invitation
To celebrate my birthday this week, I’m offering a special opportunity to work with me 1:1 and begin your own Embodied Living process. Together, we’ll spend 6 hours exploring where you are now, identifying what’s holding you back, and creating space for transformation through action and feedback.
This is about learning to interact with Life in a new way: not as a struggle to be endured, but as an experiment, a dance, and a playful exploration of possibility.
- What’s included: 6 hours of 1:1 sessions (spread over a time that suits you).
- Investment: £250 (minus £20 for initial call).
We’ll begin in January, so if you’re ready to join in this experiment and take a step toward your next chapter, I’d love to work with you.
Book your Initial £20 Call by the 23rd of November to Secure Your Spot
Life is always extending the invitation.
If you’re ready to move from disconnection to alignment, I’d love to guide you through this process. Embodied Living isn’t just a concept—it’s a practice that has transformed my life, and I’m excited to share it with you.
Are you ready to step into the experiment?
Join the Journey Today and Book your Initial Call