Beyond the Blueprint That Wasn’t Made for Me
A soul-first reflection on success, survival fear, and remembering the truth of who we are.
If you’ve ever felt like you’re too late, not enough, or somehow falling behind… then this one is for you.
Part reflection, part reclamation, in this piece, I invite you to question the blueprint we were handed and remember the deeper truth of who we are. Journey with me as I explore success, professionalism, and identity through the lens of trauma, motherhood, and creative becoming for those who have never really known how to “fit”.
Dear Reader,
I’ve been writing a lot about professionalism, success and identity recently. Not as polished Substack pieces, but through stand-alone Notes and LinkedIn posts. Honestly, it’s been… interesting.
I’ve asked myself questions like:
What does it mean to be a professional?
Is this something I even see in myself?
What is success?
And how does it make me feel about my path, my life, my choices?
None of them easy questions to ask especially as whether it’s here or on LinkedIn, the truth is I’m surrounded by so many people—so many women, who seem to embody the internal descriptor I’ve carried for what “professional” or “successful” looks like.
From holding what feels like a gazillion accredited qualifications (OK, that’s an obvious exaggeration, but one person I discovered had over 50) to the ones with well-paid corporate gigs, clean career journeys, and glamorous titles to boot.
I’d be lying if I said it didn’t stir something in me.
But when I looked deeper, it wasn’t envy. It was something more.
A familiar contraction in my chest.
An old, quiet fear: living underneath the surface, whispering:
Will I be okay?
Will I be enough?
Will I be safe if I’m not all those things too?…
Will I survive this world?
What I was feeling, I now recognise as survival fear.
Not the kind that’s only about food or shelter, though I’ve known those too, but the kind that insistently prods you with shadowy fingers:
You don’t belong.
You’re not legitimate.
You’ll be left behind if you don’t perform.
That moment helped me see just how much of our definition of success, my defintion of success is encoded with fear, not freedom.
While I love to celebrate other people’s paths—especially other women’s—I also recognise that sometimes, witnessing their shine touches that survival fear in me.
We’ve named it scarcity and lack, to once again judge ourselves for this symptom of living in a toxic system. Yet these labels only equip us to bypass and whitewash the legitimacy and truth of what lies underneath the sensation.
And, I can’t help but wonder:
Am I really the only one who has felt this?
Because the capacity to accumulate qualifications or climb a corporate ladder—especially as a woman—isn’t just about choice, it’s a complex dance that begins long before adulthood, often even before puberty.
For some, it might be as simple as delaying motherhood until you’ve hit your goals.
But for others, the dance is more unpredictable. More nuanced.
It’s shaped by trauma and protective coping mechanisms that keep you frozen in indecision or quietly staying small.
It’s the lived reality of never quite having the psychological or financial bandwidth to do anything other than survive.
It’s how motherhood can break and rebuild you into someone who no longer chases the metrics of success, because the version of life you’re now living didn’t come with a rulebook, a safety net or even the possibility to soar.
And yes, I am talking about me.
Professionalism and success are not just abstract words.
They are reminders of all the ways my life didn’t follow the blueprint.
That’s not to say I’m not professional or successful in my own way, I am. I’ve earned qualifications. I’ve held quietly powerful spaces. I’ve created impactful work.
But I’ve also come to recognise how early life experiences shaped my capacity to “succeed” by the system’s standards—and how my soul’s design and my nervous system have never let me simply slot in.
This brings me to the next question: what’s the actual purpose of the blueprint?
In the UK, we have entrance exams like the 4+ and 11+, designed to filter young children into “the right” schools. And the blueprint for success feels a bit like that—an invisible exam for the most privileged among us, one that often measures nothing but your capacity to fit in and play the game.
But what is the game?
The job, the house, the marriage, the children. Then what?
Retirement?
Another generation of human doings, raised to rinse and repeat the same cycle?
That doesn’t feel like a blueprint for success to me.
It feels like a trap.
A prison.
No wonder everything within me has recoiled from it.
My Gene Keys and natal chart show me I was never designed to fit the system, and in some strange way, my life experiences have also protected me from falling prey to that trap.
Spending 13 months in a women’s refuge opened my eyes—not only to the suffering that so many women experience regardless of age or race—but to what’s possible when you are anchored in self-belief and rooted in soul.
Even within the walls of that beautiful refuge (surprisingly, it was), I tasted something I had never known before:
Freedom. Peace. Silence. Space.
A sacred pause to reconnect with my truth.
And even though I miraculously secured a post as a mental health therapist—chosen from over 200 applicants—what stood out to me most wasn’t that I became the only “professional” in that space.
It was my vitality.
My desire for life and liberation.
And the expansiveness and desire for more I felt in my body.
It was during my time at the refuge that I designed and hosted my own virtual summit,
The Abundant Living Summit, even before summits even became a thing.
I pulled together a beautiful blend of 21 female changemakers from around the world who believed in me and my work.
I built the website and the backend.
I designed the affiliate system.
I managed and recorded the interviews.
I drip-fed 23 sessions over 5 days.
I handled upsells and payment processing.
And I did it all while living in that refuge.
When I think about what I created in that space, a clenched part of me finally unfurls.
There has always been a part of me that is visionary, innovative and fiercely creative.
But I downplayed her.
Because she didn’t fit into the boxes the system gave me.
And the truth is, much like niching, I’ve spent years trying to squeeze myself into boxes designed by others.
But the truth is, I’ve never met a box-shaped human being.
Of course, the tension is still there.
Sometimes I wonder if it would be easier or safer to try and squeeze myself into the box (hello, survival fear).
To get the accreditation.
To become a Chartered Psychologist or Psychotherapist (I think both are great btw).
To be taken seriously.
To be seen as professional.
But then I remember all the things I am.
The part of me that doesn’t want to be one thing, but all of it.
Even the parts still waiting to be discovered.
And I think of all the women, some like me, who never found a place in the system maybe because they couldn’t or wouldn’t tick the boxes.
Women now being forced to choose between motherhood and a career in a world where motherhood costs too much—financially, emotionally, and energetically.
Because this system was never built with us in mind.
So it really comes back to this understanding, that this is what the blueprint does:
It destroys life in its most sacred, organic, powerful expression—by requiring conformity and sacrifice.
If this is what success looks like, I want nothing to do with it.
I stand firmly in the truth that I can feel rising and already here.
There is a better way.
A way that honours creativity, wholeness, and the intelligence of the soul.
Because any system that isn’t designed for the thriving of its people—
especially its caregivers, its dreamers, its creators—cannot last.
Yes, we are already witnessing the rise of something new.
A return to what is wild and wise.
A remembering of what is cyclical and sacred.
A reclamation of life led not by metrics—but by soul.
This rising will honour womanhood.
And, it will honour motherhood.
Not as sacrifice, but as a sacred devotion to life itself.
Because anything that doesn’t do so is only death warmed up and dressed as life.
No heartbeat.
No soul.
No breath.
But this time, we are not building from depletion.
We are building from creativity, and wholeness, and the body’s wisdom.
We are forging a new way and building from love.
This is not the blueprint we were handed.
But it is the blueprint we are courageously remembering into being.
And this is why, even when survival fears come knocking at my door, I can stand knowing that I am part of the medicine the world needs to create the change we have all been dreaming of.
Will you cross the threshold with me?
To Celebrate the Podcast Launch… A Sacred Giveaway
To honour the launch of my upcoming podcast,
The Awakening Woman: Ready to Thrive
—a limited series of 8 intimate transmissions and guest interviews—I’m offering a giveaway rooted in gratitude, generosity, and soul.
Two beautiful opportunities are available:
- One place in my 4-month 1:1 coaching container, The Awakening Path
A sacred, transformational journey for the woman ready to shed systems of self-sacrifice and live from soul.
- One place in Creatrix Rising
My group experience for visionary women reclaiming their voice, power, and truth—beyond hustle, hierarchy, and hiding.
And because I believe every woman who enters is already a part of this rising...
Every entrant will receive a specially curated Thank You Bundle featuring nourishing resources from soul-led female changemakers I trust and admire, including an EFT Tapping Workbook by Melanie from
, a soulful guided meditation on the Divine Mother within by Conscious Motherhood Coach Merissa Williams, and more.How to Enter
I’m still working on the backend tech, but basically, you’ll be able to enter when you share the podcast once it launches and leave a review or comment on one of the episodes. More details to come.
If you’d like to contribute to the Thank You Bundle or help amplify the podcast in your own unique way, I’d be honoured to receive your support. You can message me directly or reply to this post.
That’s it for today.
Until next time, know this:
We rise together.
And the time is now.
Florence U.
Sacred Soul Midwife and Creatrix Guide for Women Ready to Rise and Thrive on Their Terms
This is beautiful. I can't wait to get stuck into your podcast.